All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
