i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
