how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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