I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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