no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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