the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize