Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
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I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
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I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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