So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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