My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
