Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
How external is "for external use only"?
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
We're too hungover to prance.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
