this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize