okay pat passed out under dana's car
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
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