you guys were way drunker than both of me
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
