come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
