My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
