belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
