Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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