Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Randomize
