I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
a search helicopter?!
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
