she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
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