i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize