He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
