I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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