I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Randomize
