So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
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