Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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