sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
