if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I think my moral compass just broke
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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