Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
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Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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