there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
