Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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