I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Your penis caused this!
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