I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize
