I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
