I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Actions speak louder than pants.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize