part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Terrible idea I love it
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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