I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
