very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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