Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Randomize
