redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
