i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Randomize
