he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
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