You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
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