Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
