So drunk its hurt
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
