Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Four minutes until I can fart!
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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