he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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