I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize
