You made me cry and you don't even care
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
