A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Randomize
