Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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