we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
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