i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
i believe in u and ur pee
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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