Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
