Plan B is the new Plan A
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Randomize