so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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