So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Randomize
