I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Even the bartender felt bad for me
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Randomize
