Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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