So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
