Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
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