he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize