But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
operation harelip BJ is a go
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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