i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
